


I’ve Always Wanted What I Can’t Have

by saradise48



Series: and I thought I told you to make your move [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Auston's mom ships it, Connor and Dylan ship it, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Getting Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 02:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8872222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saradise48/pseuds/saradise48
Summary: Even after spending a year beside Auston on and off the ice, Mitch still struggled to find a comfortable spot next to the superstar he had become, especially after the moment when he realized he could never look at Auston as only a friend anymore. When Auston pulled up in front of Mitch’s building, he hesitated with his hand on the car door handle. “It’s still early. You down for a movie?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Companion to "I'm (Not) Okay, I Promise" from the google doc affectionately titled "tor babies". Inspired by a comment from brighterthanstars and motivated by Mitch Marner's instagram story from today

Mitch wasn’t sure if the ride back to his place was as stilted and awkward as he thought, or if it was just his imagination. Even after spending a year beside Auston on and off the ice, Mitch still struggled to find a comfortable spot next to the superstar he had become, especially after the moment when he realized he could never look at Auston as only a friend anymore. 

When Auston pulled up in front of Mitch’s building, he hesitated with his hand on the car door handle. “It’s still early. You down for a movie?”

“Sure. Should I park in the normal place?” Mitch nodded, fiddling with his Jays hat while Auston pulled into the garage below the apartment complex, taking his usual guest spot across from Mitch’s car. They walked to the elevator and rode up to Mitch’s floor in a surprisingly comfortable silence. No matter how awkward Mitch knew he was being, he and Auston were still friends first. 

“What do you want to watch?” he asked as he flopped down on his couch, a safe distance away from Auston on the other end. Mitch flicked through his saved list on Netflix until he landed on The Mighty Ducks. “You in?”

Auston glared at Mitch, sinking further into the couch cushions, and he only laughed. Mitch hesitated, but ended up with his feet in Auston’s lap as he spread out. This was normal for them. When one of them came over to the other’s apartment, they would turn on baseball or whatever TV show they had recently started then end up tangled together on the couch, half asleep by the time what they were watching ended. 

But Mitch and Auston hadn’t seen each other in three months and Mitch wasn’t sure where exactly they stood after so long apart. “How’s Arizona been?”

Auston smiled, looking away from the TV. “Good. Everything’s really good.” He paused, his smile growing. “My mom wanted me to invite you to our fourth of July party, I had to remind her you’re Canadian.”

 _I’d still go._ “At least your mom likes me.”

Auston snorted, turning back to the movie, but Mitch noticed that he had let a hand fall and wrap loosely around one of Mitch’s ankles. “Think what you want, Marns.” Mitch frowned, the one he knew made Auston crack every single time. “Fuck off,” Auston groaned, and Mitch ducked to avoid the pillow that had been chucked at his head giggling. 

They quieted down to watch the movie again, but Mitch was only half paying attention, instead watching Auston out of the corner of his eye as he mumbled the script along with the characters on screen. He froze when he felt Auston’s thumb start rubbing circles against his bare skin. 

“Did you want to come over tomorrow for breakfast?” Auston asked a few minutes later. “My mom actually does want to see you.”

“Yeah,” Mitch said unsteadily. He cleared his throat before continuing, “Sure. Um, what time?”

“Whenever,” Auston shrugged. “You need your beauty sleep, I wouldn’t want to disturb you too early,” he snorted, leaning over to poke Mitch in the stomach as he squawked in indignation. 

When Auston didn’t fall back to his spot on the other end of the couch, Mitch told himself it was nothing. When Auston started leaning _toward_ him, Mitch told himself again he was projecting what he wanted to happen onto what was actually happening. Only when Auston’s mouth was on his own did Mitch believe that this was something that was actually happening to him. 

It started out as a simple press of lips, and Mitch thought maybe Auston was as unsure as he felt himself. But when Mitch pressed into it, Auston opened right up and Mitch could hardly believe that this was what his life had become. When they pulled away, Mitch knew he was long gone, and if the look on Auston’s face was anything to go by, the feeling was mutual. “Was that okay?” Auston asked unsurely.

“Jesus, Aus, that was more than okay,” Mitch replied, hauling Auston on top of himself and threading his fingers in the hair at the back of his neck. Auston smiled, then leaned down again, the movie playing in front of them forgotten entirely. 

When they finally pulled away, it was to the end credits playing on the TV. Mitch laughed, pressing kisses to Auston’s throat as he tried to reach for the remote without disturbing their position on the couch. “Just leave it,” Mitch mumbled just as he reached the remote. 

“I got it,” Auston smirked before dropping his head to Mitch’s neck. 

-

Mitch was surprised when he woke up the next morning and saw his alarm clock said seven o’clock. Then, he remembered the night before and how once Auston had left at midnight, he hadn’t fallen asleep until close to one in the morning. He reached blindly for his phone under the covers, then shot off a text to Auston. _I’m up, what time do you want me over?_

 _Like I said, whenever_ was the response he got a few minutes later. Mitch looked down at his rumpled shirt and sweats, and decided he should probably change before he went over to see Auston and his mom. _Give me twenty minutes._

-

Auston answered the door to reveal Mitch half an hour later, a grin immediately overtaking his face. Mitch had panicked at his own front door about what he had chosen to wear, then spent an extra five minutes in his closet and another five in front of the mirror before he realized he was late. “Hey,” Auston said. He glanced behind him, probably looking at his mom who Mitch could see in the kitchen, then nudged Mitch out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. “Hey, so my mom kind of cornered me last night when I got in and asked what was going on between us. I kind of called you my boyfriend?” Auston looked so apprehensive, like he had made some huge mistake, and Mitch couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Dude,” was all he said before he tugged Auston in by his shirt to press a quick kiss to his mouth. 

“Okay. Okay, come on before my mom catches us making out in the fucking hallway,” Auston beamed once he took a step back. Mitch was sure his expression mirrored Auston’s when he took his hand and led him through the door to the kitchen. “Mom.”

The first time Mitch had met Auston’s mom had been after their first game last October, she had practically burst into tears for the second time when she saw Auston, then composed herself only long enough to introduce herself to Mitch before she was hugging her son. The next few times, she had treated Mitch as if he had been friends with Auston for years, like he was practically a part of the family. This time, she gave a knowing smile when Auston introduced him as his boyfriend, then pulled him in for a hug. 

The three talked while Auston and his mom worked on breakfast in the kitchen before Mitch’s phone started ringing with a call from Dylan. “It’s Stromer, I should probably answer,” he said to Auston who shrugged and turned back to the stove while Mitch headed for the bathroom. 

“Marns?” Auston called a few minutes later when Mitch still hadn’t come out. “Mitch!”

“What?” he answered, peeking his head out, his phone pressed against his shoulder. 

“Everything is ready.”

“Give me, like, two minutes?” Mitch said with a sickly sweet grin. Auston rolled his eyes but nodded.

Three minutes later—not that Auston had been counting—Mitch reappeared from the bathroom, kissing Auston on the cheek as he took the offered plate. “Everything good?” he asked, absently rubbing circles on Mitch’s back while his mom pretended not to be watching from the dining room table where she was already eating. 

Mitch nodded, “Everything is perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> I might end up expanding on this, these two are so much fun to work with, but I hope you liked it!!
> 
> Title from "Critical" by State Champs because I had to keep the punk theme going

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] I’ve Always Wanted What I Can’t Have](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11950935) by [silverandblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverandblue/pseuds/silverandblue)




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